I took a test one time

at a women's retreat. It was one of those tests that are supposed to tell you what your spiritual gifts are. Well surprising no one, my results listed being a director (telling people what to do basically) as one of my best gifts. I do have a take charge personality and God does need leaders so I was pleased with that result. What I was not pleased about however was the fact that this test showed that I was a very poor giver. Up until then, I had considered myself a very good giver, but when I really sat down and thought about it, I had to admit that I wasn't. I am a good giver when it comes to giving to people I know. Not so much when it comes to giving to those less fortunate than me. This stems from being skeptical that the person I am helping is really just looking for a way to rip me off. In my defense, you do see all sorts of fraud on television. People who lie about losing their homes to hurricanes and tornadoes. People who use their kids to get money from people and then use the money to buy stuff for themselves and not their kids. I was not going to be suckered by these people. No, sir I was not. But what I have found over the years is that this attitude has really brought me down. It all has kind of come to a head this year though because I have actually felt so led to give. Practically everything I have seen this holiday that has asked for gifts or donations, I have tried to give a little something to. Please do not be misled into thinking that I have a ton of money that I can just throw it around to this charity and that. I have just really been called upon to examine my attitude towards giving and towards those I refuse to give to. I have worked very hard this year to save up some money so that my children would have a nice Christmas. I am really disappointed that they are not getting more than they are, but really they are getting more than they need. I feel so guilty that while I am out buying V-Smiles and Cabbage Patch Kids, there are children out there that don't even have a coat or a warm blanket. So now that I have gone through this long examination of conscience, I have come to this conclusion. Giving is the right thing for me to do and I can't worry about whether or not the recipient is really needing the items that I give. I am doing what I feel led to do and what I know is right. God has really blessed my family with the things that are important and I want to share that with others. If they are fraudulent in their claims or if they are just using the kindness of others to score some free stuff, well they will have to answer to someone else about that one day. I can't really worry about what is in their heart as long as I still have to work on mine.

The reason for the season

I have really been trying hard to make sure that Elvis understands the true meaning of Christmas. It is getting harder these days to wade through the commercialism and see the point behind it all. With more and more stores dropping "Merry Christmas" and going PC, I have to work harder to make sure that my kids don't get all wrapped up in the buying and list making that the media pushes on them. At our house, we have a nativity in the living room and I make sure to talk to him about Baby Jesus being born and how it was a special night. Last year when we went to Mass, he was looking for the Baby so he could tell Him "Happy Birthday". This year we have participated in several Christmas and holiday charities so that he can learn how fortunate we are and how others aren't quite so lucky. He knows now that there are people who can not afford to buy groceries that thanks to our donations to the local food pantry will have something to eat. When we worked on his shoe box for Operation Christmas Child, it broke his heart to think that there are children that won't get any toys (or any presents for that matter) for Christmas. He also saw me taking a bag of goods to work with me and asked why. I told him that they were gifts for a family that wasn't going to have much for Christmas and he was pleased that his mother was helping out. I tried to explain the Angel Tree to him, and I think he got the gist of it. I do get all into the decorating and the tree and as I mentioned before, I spend way too much money on gifts. I do want to make sure though that my son (and my daughter when she is older) understand why we give each other gifts and why we decorate and why Christmas is so important. I want them to learn that this is a time of year to be especially thankful for all the things that we have- our health, a home and most of all each other. We don't have a lot to give but we do give what we can. We give because years ago a Baby was born and that Baby was the greatest gift of all.

Christmas stresses me out

Christmas really stresses me out. I know that it is supposed to be a time of family and friends and giving and all that. The problem is that I let the giving thing get to me. I love to give gifts. The problem is that I fret over what to get everyone and I always end up sweating my Christmas budget. Ever since Big Daddy and I met, I have really enjoyed Buying Christmas gifts for him. Now that we have kids, it is even worse. I love the look on people's faces when they open a gift from me and it is something that they really love. This year the ideas are coming pretty easily for most on my list. It is the cash that is on the short end. True, I had lofty aspirations of making several gifts, but I am rapidly running out of time. I guess I really shouldn't worry about it so much. Luckily my family and friends are all the sort that appreciate the thought behind the gift more than they appreciate the price tag.
As my kids get older, Christmas gets more fun. Putting up the tree and the lights are such a big deal to them that it takes the pain out of having to actually do the stuff. They get so excited about seeing the decorations and helping put them up. Last night we went to the parade and it was sooooo cold. The little one didn't care so much for the floats and all but she sure did love the candy. Today they had pics at school with Santa and I am dying to see how they turned out. I also have to go pick up some gifts for the SOP Angel Tree here at work. I enjoy participating in that because I know that a family is getting stuff that it needs. Until next time.....