I took a test one time

at a women's retreat. It was one of those tests that are supposed to tell you what your spiritual gifts are. Well surprising no one, my results listed being a director (telling people what to do basically) as one of my best gifts. I do have a take charge personality and God does need leaders so I was pleased with that result. What I was not pleased about however was the fact that this test showed that I was a very poor giver. Up until then, I had considered myself a very good giver, but when I really sat down and thought about it, I had to admit that I wasn't. I am a good giver when it comes to giving to people I know. Not so much when it comes to giving to those less fortunate than me. This stems from being skeptical that the person I am helping is really just looking for a way to rip me off. In my defense, you do see all sorts of fraud on television. People who lie about losing their homes to hurricanes and tornadoes. People who use their kids to get money from people and then use the money to buy stuff for themselves and not their kids. I was not going to be suckered by these people. No, sir I was not. But what I have found over the years is that this attitude has really brought me down. It all has kind of come to a head this year though because I have actually felt so led to give. Practically everything I have seen this holiday that has asked for gifts or donations, I have tried to give a little something to. Please do not be misled into thinking that I have a ton of money that I can just throw it around to this charity and that. I have just really been called upon to examine my attitude towards giving and towards those I refuse to give to. I have worked very hard this year to save up some money so that my children would have a nice Christmas. I am really disappointed that they are not getting more than they are, but really they are getting more than they need. I feel so guilty that while I am out buying V-Smiles and Cabbage Patch Kids, there are children out there that don't even have a coat or a warm blanket. So now that I have gone through this long examination of conscience, I have come to this conclusion. Giving is the right thing for me to do and I can't worry about whether or not the recipient is really needing the items that I give. I am doing what I feel led to do and what I know is right. God has really blessed my family with the things that are important and I want to share that with others. If they are fraudulent in their claims or if they are just using the kindness of others to score some free stuff, well they will have to answer to someone else about that one day. I can't really worry about what is in their heart as long as I still have to work on mine.